Friday, March 03, 2006
Best Presidential Library Ever! Exclusive Pix!
Even if God forgets to anoint Bush President for Life in 2008 at least one other prophecy is bound to come true; the building of the George W. Bush Best Presidential Library Ever!
Fundraising has already begun with a letter-writing campaign managed by both the IRS and Department of Homeland Security urging private individuals to contribute in a spirit of God-fearing patriotism. Individuals can also expect phone calls and personal visits .
Media personalities are expected to lend their weight to a marketing blitz that will feature glorious retrospectives of Bush’s achievements as well as interviews with and between key players in the administration such as Michelle Malkin, Ann Coulter, Tim Russert, Jeff Gannon, Chris Matthews, Charles Krauthammer, Tony Blankley, Matt Drudge, Michael Savage, Rush Limbaugh, Neil Cavuto, Laura Ingraham, Ted Sampley and many, many, many, many, many, many, many……………………..many, many, many, many more.
Well–heeled potential donors will be wooed with $5,000-per-plate dinners, gift-baskets of Indian casino profits, lifetime subscriptions to the Appropriations Committee and a 1500% refund.
The Board of Directors of the Best Presidential Library Ever Or Else Fund (whose names can’t be revealed for security reasons) estimate that the project will cost between $170,000 and $623 billion, depending on the final design and who's doing the actual counting..
Design concepts have already been received from all over Texas but the committee overseeing the design insists that there a plenty of options left on the table.
"We’re not telling the designer’s what to do or how to think about the project" said one anonymous source who looked incredibly familiar, "we’re open to any suggestions they might have. Of course, we’ll be monitoring things closely and will bring to justice anyone who submits a design that doesn’t conform to our rules, which naturally are a closely-guarded secret".
Whilst the Right Design Approval Committee’s rules may be a secret, this reporter has managed to acquire some recently submitted design proposals along with the Approval Committee’s comments from an insider close to the project (whose family and loved-ones will definitely be in our thoughts and prayers in the coming days).
But enough of that! Let’s see the pix!
This is NOT supposed to be about Dick Cheney!
However, keep on file.
Could work for the Vice-President's wing
Derivative! Looks like a rip-off of the Bagdhad Embassy.
On the other hand if we lost the sandbags, added more spikes and maybe some anti-aircraft missiles on top it could work for the Visitor's Centre. Keep on file.
Best entry yet!
Resolutely piercing a decaying world and thrusting up to the heavens I can just imagine the faithful gazing up at this enormous erection, grateful just to touch and stroke its powerful shaft whilst Bush's mighty ball, suspended above their flushed faces hangs tantalizingly in it's greatness.
Plus, that looks like the Death Star, doesn't it?
Star Wars, Reagan, Bush, ultimate planet destroying power! It all fits!
We'll need some lasers though.
Discuss with Rummy.