Monday, May 08, 2006

World O' Crap

It's a World O' Crap out there, and nobody suits-up to wade through the collective cloacae of the wrongest of the Right, collecting their chugnuts and dingleberries of opinion and theory and then dissecting the respective spoors to reveal and explain exactly what it is that they digest and eject and fail to clean up(despite the clearly posted signs about fouling public spaces) like WO'C!.

Just a couple of months ago I stepped into the World O' Crap courtesy of RedTory's blogroll, and since then I've stuck with it (or it stuck to me).

WO'C consistently treads where most dare not; going in feet-first and taking a hands-on approach to exploring the murky mysterious effluence that constitutes so much of the right-wing blogosphere--spelunking, if you will, in a vast but otherwise obscure guano- drenched subterranean world hidden from the main public view and lurking just below the surface.

Heedless of the inevitable mental stress and pyschological toll, WO'C delves elbow-deep and beyond ( and without elitist "opera-gloves"), constantly probing elephant-sized piles of shit for the smallest kernels of truth. Yet after exhaustive examination the kernels often prove to be only undigested corn niblets of dubious goodness and origin.

Undeterred, WO'C presses on through the murk.
Like Jacques Cousteau trying to climb Mount Everest or Neil Cavuto trying to make sense WO'C soldier's-on regardless; totally convinced that by shining a highly focused laser beam through the sphincter of right-wing righteousness and illuminating the alimentary canal of neo-conservatism beyond, we shall all see things we would never have seen before, or wish to see again and be the better for it.

The author and owner of World O'Crap is nothing less than a documentarian of shittitude, a 'Ken Burns 'of scatalogical assemblience verite' en droit * if you will--you kno wat am talkin 'bout!.
Like any Ken Burns documentary you can't help but watch and learn not for your own benefit, but just so you can talk intelligently with your elitist liberal friends until the bong-hits kick in.

So go visit World O' Crap that was once just a blog and is now an actual website and show your support and most importantly to prove to yourself that you are cool!.

And should you happen to notice that I'm a finalist in the WO'C "Write Like a Wingnut" Contest, well, just let Christ and a possible free tank of gas from a certain finalist be your voting guide.

Seriously though, WO'C gets mad so I don't have to nearly as much. It's practically a free mental health service! Oh yeah, and really snarky-funny too!. Visit for your own good!

*don't even bother--it's as French as Harry Potter's spells are Latin!

Sunday, May 07, 2006

School for Scandal

So Rep. Patrick Kennedy (D-RI) gets zonked out of his skull, drives into a concrete barrier, gets treated very nicely by the D.C. police, gets his head straight again, offers up an excuse/explanation and then immediately checks into a rehab clinic.

I imagined the battered right-wing punditry rushing to their keyboards to write

Goodness knows I wouldn’t blame them for wanting to pile on, what with the tanking polls, recent guilty pleas, current indictments, future indictments, resignations, unflattering reports, record spending, record deficits and growing dissension in the ranks that Republicans and their supporters have been enduring these last few months.

Of course Pat Kennedy losing an argument with a pile of concrete isn’t quite in the same league as Chappaquiddick and it’s a long way from Clinton murdering political opponents and importing cocaine whilst getting blow jobs and sweet property deals, but at least it’s something.

The first effort to make a meal out of the incident that I saw was
Michelle Malkin’s who, as the story was still very fresh, simply posted what she had gleaned and was still gathering her thoughts (Brava, Ms Malkin for not going gonzo straight away!):

Rep. Kennedy says "I struggle every day with this disease...the chronic disease of addiction."
Translation: I am changing the subject.
Major Garrett calls Kennedy's statement "very artful." Garrett reports that Dems may have likely intervened in the last 24 hours to persuade Kennedy to shift the focus of the story.
FOX analysts note that Kennedy made no mention of painkillers last night. Former prosecutor Michael Farkas: "This is an obvious attempt to garner sympathy from the public." Worse than that, Farkas notes, it's inconsistent with his statement last night and probably indicates that he probably did commit a crime.

(Farkas lives up to his name: Kennedy originally said he hadn't been drinking. Then later he said his impairment was due to a mix of pills--seperate but consistent, neither statement refutes the other. What a Farkas!).

In MIchelle's next post on the subject she finds herself surprised to be able to quote a commenter on the Daily Kos who says that Kennedy should resign! OMG! Someone she would typically generically label a “moonbat” isn’t automatically defending a Democrat (and a Kennedy no less)! How very odd!

Meanwhile over at John Hinderaker’s initial post :

I'm not clever enough to add to the hilarity already surrounding Rep. Patrick Kennedy's traffic mishap last night.

OMG! I totally agree with John!
And after some other blather, he also writes:

Why on earth is a lost, pathetic nonentity like Patrick Kennedy a member of Congress? What possesses people in his Rhode Island district--does he have some connection with Rhode Island?--to vote for him? Can the people of Rhode Island possibly be proud of being represented by a slow-witted, uninformed young man with admitted psychiatric and drug problems? I assume not.

Well he does live there, John, has done since 95—he kinda has to live there, you know? It’s some kind of rule. It’s also some kind of rule that you don’t have to be born in the place you represent. But never mind all that.
The question John is trying to articulate is; does Pat Kennedy deserve to be in Congress with all the responsibilities that that entails? Hinderaker clearly thinks not.

OMG! I totally agree with John again! I really do, no sarcasm intended.

Anyone can make a mistake and when addled on drugs mistakes are easily compounded. Kennedy apparently mixed two drugs that he should have known reacted with each other. Just look at his areas of interest—mostly medical and mental health. The guy has serious problems. If he can’t make reasonable decisions for himself, how can he do so for his constituents? I think Kennedy should quit.

So where’s the big scandal that the Right so desperately wants and needs?

That Kennedy is in congress principally because of his family?
Dubya is President because of his family.
That Kennedy wasn’t given a breathalyzer test?
If a cop doesn’t smell alcohol (and in my experience and observations they are well attuned to that) observed disorientation would have to be a result of drugs for which they have no test.
That Kennedy was zonked on prescription drugs?
Stupid but not illegal per se unless operating a car--and that he did. He should be cited for his actions after taking the drugs, not for taking the drugs themselves.

And it’s not quite the same as using an employee to acquire false prescriptions as say Rush Limbaugh did (not an elected official of course, but still a drug-addicted public political figure).
Nor has Kennedy bribed anyone (as far as we know), been bribed (as far as we know), leaked secrets, illegally wiretapped anyone, lied about reasons for war, interfered with an election, personally profited from investing public money in a private coin collection or faked letters of credit to buy a floating casino etc.

I think Pat Kennedy got some preferential treatment and I find that scandalous though not in the least surprising. But no one died, billions weren’t wasted, no one was tortured or bankrupted by his actions. Suspend his license, fine him for driving violations and fire him. I say apply the law as it is applied to John Q. Public.

This story has no legs, there’s no meat on the bones, there’s no real scandal. Judging by both Hinderaker’s and Malkin’s later posts (still at the above links), the silence is deafening.

Given the old adage about absolute power it only makes sense that the lion’s share of scandal would fall to the Republicans at this time, but the number, scale and sheer mendacity of Republican schemes makes it plain that, since at least the “Contract With America” the Republicans set up a “School For Scandal” and many of its “students” are now graduating with dishonors.

The Republican cheerleaders like Malkin, Hinderaker et al seem to have yelled themselves hoarse.