Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Geeks Gone Wild!

According to the Oakland Tribune Lab Officials Excited by New H-Bomb Project nuclear weapons designers are in par-tay mode after the announcement of a competition to develop the next generation of H-Bombs.

Frankly I’m not too keen on the idea of "excited" nuclear scientists making bombs.

Oppenheimer, realizing the enormity of the first atomic explosion commented by quoting from the ancient Sanskrit text of the Rig Veda: "I am become death", whilst Einstein whose physics inquiries helped make the bomb possible became an ardent opponent of nuclear weapons.

This time around it seems likely that the new generation of bombs will be celebrated with wet lab-coat contests and cries of "fucking awesome!"

Apparently the plan is to make simpler, more reliable and more adaptable thermonuclear warheads.

I’m no luddite; anything that is simpler, more reliable and adaptable is a good thing in my book....


Perhaps I'm over-reacting. Apparently some of the scientists haven't forgotten the words of Spiderman's uncle; "with great power comes great responsibility".
So, should the new, simpler and more reliable H-Bomb somehow fall into the hands of terrorists it will be able to be "remotely destroyed or rendered useless."

The notion that a complete thermonuclear device could be "rendered useless" by any means other than blowing it up is simply idiotic.

For a start the radioactive material still could be used for a dirty bomb (more a psychological weapon than a WMD) and the scrap bomb parts could still be sold to those nations pursuing their own nuclear capabilities for research if not for immediate ‘practical’ application.
Secondly it is clear that terrorists HAVE to be within or close to communications (which means population centers) to organize and to be effective in their tactics (which is to attack highly populated targets).
So the only solution is to remotely detonate the stolen bomb, thereby preventing the terrorists of destroying their intended targets but destroying a whole bunch of surrounding and unintended targets in the process.

Give a bunch of bored teenagers 10 billion dollars and the results are predictable--a maelstrom of promiscuity, vomit, abortions, massive hangovers and a multimillion dollar video market supported by middle-aged men who assume that everyone's daughter but their own is a drunken slut.

Give a bunch of bored hydrogen bomb designers 10 billion dollars and the result is much the same—except that when the bomb designers get to par-tay, there won’t be anyone left the morning after to buy the video of Geeks Gone Wild.