Thursday, July 19, 2007

Eat My Shorts

Long, artfully constructed posts not only have a lot of words but also you have to read them all, and I have to write them all (which is a lot harder), so I thought I’d make you slackers do some work for a change and put-up a number of short posts (collectively entitled Eat My Shorts) and see if you can make sense out of them, so I don't have to (as much).

The New Strategy for Victory In Iraq
“An important part of the American strategy against Al Qaeda in Mesopotamia has been to drive wedges between the group, other insurgent groups and the Sunni population…”
[NY Times 7-19-07]

…by talking trash about everyone I assume? Is it the ‘Poisoning Hearts and Minds’ strategy? Given that none of the Americans seem to speak Arabic, I suspect something’s going to get lost in translation. Still, I’ll give them an ‘F’ for “eFFort”

And You Thought; “At Least Canadians Aren’t Batshit Insane!”
“I adjust and stiffly greet the first man I see. He is a judge, with the craggy self-important charm that slowly consumes any judge. He is from Canada, he declares, and is the founding president of "Canadians Against Suicide Bombing".
Would there be many members of "Canadians For Suicide Bombing?" I ask.

Dismayed, he suggests that yes, there would.”
[Johann Hari reporting from the neocon National Review annual ‘Meet the Crazies’ Cruise] (Recommended reading!)
(Hat-tip to RedTory for this beauty.)

The 'Canadians For Suicide Bombing' don’t have a website probably because they are hiding in a cave in Waziristan and being liberal hippies they are too busy adding suede fringes to their knitted-hemp suicide vests to even have their own blog.
But the Canadians Against Suicide Bombing do have a website and thanks to them there hasn’t been a single Canadian Suicide Bombing since....since... everything changed after 9-11!

And When I Say Our Economy Is Strong, I Mean Strong Like A Wet Paper Bag
“All in all these bloated spending bills will increase government spending by $81.4 billion more than needed. These increases could very well drive up the deficit, increase taxes and ultimately cripple America’s surging economy.
[John Carter (R-TexAss), taking a dump on The Hill blog, 7-19-07]

Absolutely right, John! It’s only thanks to the hard-work and sacrifices of Big Oil and George Bush alone that spending over $500-billion on a war we still don't need, didn’t cripple our surging economy!

Mother Of Parliaments Gives Birth: Newborn To Be Christened "Democracy"
[UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown] launched a cross-party debate on a new bill of rights that could for the first time enshrine the rights and responsibilities of the citizen. The age of voting could also be reduced to 16 and elections held on Sundays.
Mr. Brown announced his government was surrendering or limiting the executive’s powers over the right to declare war..
There could also be limits on the executive’s power to ratify international treaties, grant pardons and make key public appointments.

[The Guardian]

I can think of thirteen former colonies who might start rethinking that old “give me liberty or give me death” independence thingy.
Now don't you go upsetting yourelf, sit yourself down and 'ave a nice cup o'tea!


Red Tory said...

Yes, that was priceless, wasn't it? I noted that another "liberal" blogger up here in the Great White North posted on this article mocking some of the opinions that were candidly expressed by wingnuts and was promptly rebuked by someone making the case for the population deficit facing white people who are going to be overwhelmed by hordes of Muslims if they don't start reproducing like mad...

Anyway, thanks for the link.

So much nuttery... so little time.

Nicole said...

I noticed in your interests that you list Nightmare Before Christmas as one of your favourite movies. I LOVE that movie too.
Infact, Halloween is my most favourite holiday.
If you have time on your hands, look at my October archives and you will see a post I did inregards to Halloween. I posted pics I took as I decorate my whole entire house for Halloween.

Have you seen the Corpse Bride yet?

ps. Thanks for your very kinds words! :)

5th Estate said...

"Nightmare", in every aspect, is a work of art. I haven't seen Corpse Bride yet,
I saw the pics and the post--there's no doubt about your enthusiasm!

teaghan's mom said...

I’ll give them an ‘F’ for “eFFort”

you're way too generous - i'd give them an FX for Fucked up beyond all recognition, in eXcess.

Aeneas the Younger said...

Go "Morans" !

5th Estate said...


I wish I knew who to credit for the photo. It says so much!