Friday, August 11, 2006

Awesomest Website Ever! EVAH!



I'd like to introduce you to Ms. Kelly Foxton. She is a patriot. She's Republican. She's a hot Republican patriot. She's a RILF.










She has a website. It is the most awesomest website I have ever seen. And I insist you go there right now. Not later, NOW! 'Cos if you don't, you'll be really, really sorry. And the terrorists will win.
WARNING: Though the site is totally kid friendly, you might say something you don't want your kids to hear when you see it. And don't forget to scroll down through the whole page to bask in it's awesome awesomeness--let it fill your senses. And then let me know what you think. Ready...?


13 comments:

Carl said...

Does the SQUIRREL at least do nude????

5th Estate said...

Don't know, Carl, I couldn't get past the the nuts.

sumo said...

SUPER talented squirrel! My favorite was the Hippy Squirrel...I hope Sugar Bush didn't have to do it for medical reasons...that's not sticking it to the man that way. Wonder if she made it to Woodstock...maybe she's that squirrel I spotted on the stage with Jimi Hendrix.

5th Estate said...

Yeah, the Hippy Squirrel clearly has the most "life" in it.

I went through about half of this site. There's a page where one can submit ideas for the squirrel. My immediate thought was roadkill, then squrrel being sucked into a jet engine, then squirrel at recieving end of one of MS Foxton's beloved missiles.

I also wanted to let her know how vomit-inducing I found the London bombing bit. But I decided against it--there's just no point.

betmo said...

you really had me for a minute- i thought i was reading another blog that had posted 'the republican ladies of fox news'- and no, i am not kidding. there was even a comparison of dems and repubs- of course the dem ladies were hideous pics. so i replied "brains versus beauty?" the other sites feature military equipment such as fighter planes and ships. so- squirrels for bush doesn't really surprise me. :)

5th Estate said...

betmo..
I don't even remember now how I found this site--I certainly wasn't searching for "RILF" or "Squirrel AND Bush". I was just so blown-away by the fact that first of all someone would take the time to do this. It's impossible to parody or to crticize in any meanigful way. I once found a video clip of a Japanese TV show where attractive girls dressed in maid-fetish outfits were required to make themselves dizzy and then go bowling. THAT made more sense than this!
I'm impressed you left a comment--I was and still am too freaked out to do so.

litbrit said...

I...I...I can't even come up with a snarky remark--squirrels are apparently snark-resistant. You were absolutely right about the inappropriate words flying out of my mouth upon seeing this site, picture after picture. My six-year-old ran out of the room shrieking "Aaaargh, my freakin' ears!" (Kidding. Sort of.)

I do have a couple of questions, though: how many tranquilizers did this woman have to feed that poor animal to get him to hold still while she dressed him up? And where can I get some?

5th Estate said...

litbrit...
how the hell should I know how many tranks?...oh sorry, you're asking "in general"!
Where to get them? I'd suggest subscribing to Rish Limbaugh--he seems to be pretty well connected.

In the back of what's left of my mind I recall some Edwardian (?)photographer who posed kittens in anthropomorphic (damn that's a tough word to type!) domestic scenes (this was before dogs began to play poker in stitch-work and later on velvet).

I have to commend this woman for rescuing a squirrel (and the squirrel for doing whatever it takes to survive in this topsy- turvy world)but I can't help feeling Ms Foxton is seriously fucked-up. But that's just my opinion--after all, I;m not a doctor and she hasn't been diagnosed by Bill Frist yet.

And should anyone think I'm anti-squirrel I;; have it known that I in fact once rescued an entire family of squirrels. Back when I was renovating a house in the wilds of suburban New Jersey,some nut-muncher decided to to sqequester her litter in the roof of the dilapidated porch, whereupon she was turned into a squirrel-flavored flapjack on Route 46. Despite hand-feeding her flea-infested orphans for a week, only one of the four survived, but at least I found it a home with a local animal rescue-lady. I was really tempted to keep it as a pet, but the odd's were that one day my then co-habiting girlfriend's 7-foot python "Monty" would want a change from the usual rat. Not once did it occur to me to rear that squirrel to promote my own political agenda and relgious beliefs. In light of Ms FOxtons example I have to ask myself "WHAT was I thinking?". I guess there's a fine line between genius and insanity--it seems I didn't have an electrom microscope handy to see it.

So there you have it; I have this unremarkable blog, whilst Ms Foxton has a squirrel-powered avtual website apparently blessed by God.

So who's the crazy person? I just don't know... I just don't know anymore.

Red Tory said...

There’s something profoundly disturbing about that website but I can’t quite put my finger on it…

5th Estate said...

RT.. yeah, it's weird isn' it? It's so easy to judge and yet..let he or she who has not exploited a hapless animal and technology totally absent from God's blueprint for human existence from the beginning of time until its glorious end, cast the first stone (or fail to swerve). No doubt about it, God is a mysterious blimmin' bastard!

Kvatch said...

That is a person with way...Way...WAY too much time on her/his hands. But hey, I'm not above gettin' a few yuks from it.

Thanks for the link.

betmo said...

just goes to prove- truth is stranger than fiction.

not_over_it said...

She's a lunatic! Oh no!

She took the uppers and gave the tranquilizers to the rodent, obviously.