Monday, February 13, 2006

Cheney: I Have Al-Quailda In My Sights

I'll apologize in advance for's a rush job but Cheney shooting a man instead of a small defenceless bird ( and blaming it on his victim) offers so many options...this was the best I could come up with at short notice. It is a rich vein and I'm just scratching the surface.

It’s no surprise that the liberal media is using this weekend’s non-news that hunting partner Harry Whittington irresponsibly interjected his face between VP Dick Cheney’s gun and his prey to promote their gay agenda that illegal wiretaps are somehow illegal.

No doubt these so called "journalists" will suddenly change their tune when Dick Cheney single-handedly brings down an Al-Qaida hijacked airliner with his trusty 12-Gauge, probably right around the November mid term elections.

It’s time these defeatist feminazi frenchified flip-floppers learned a thing or two about what it takes to lead and protect this country.

For a start Quail are just like terrorists; they don’t play by the rules. They sneak about and then suddenly attack without warning. They can’t be negotiated with. The only way to defeat them is to surround them and then apply massive firepower from all directions.

Fig 1. Alert Republican citizen soldiers in the act of thwarting a Quail attack.
The operation was a success, as were the subsequent operations to remove buckshot from their faces.

To avoid friendly-fire incidents Quail hunters take great pains to not dress like terrorists or like Quail, hence the bright orange vests and the hats. However intelligence from coalition partners indicate that Quail are actively trying to acquire orange vests and hats and are working on developing their own gun.

Fig 2. If the defeated Quail in the foreground had acquired orange vests and hunting hats, would you have been able to tell the difference? Cheney was probably envisioning just such a scenario when he shot Harry Whittington in the face---Cheney couldn't take the chance that what looked like a 6 foot tall Texan lawyer wasn't in fact a sleeper Quail terrorist.
See, Cheney thinks about about these things so that we don't have to!

Nonetheless Dick Cheney has personally killed or captured at least 70% of Quail leadership and our brave troops are continuing to take the fight to the enemy.

Fig 3. US Marines flushing out a dangerous high-ranking Quail leader in Fallujah, Iraq. The Dragonfire missile pack carried by the marine second from left is indicative of how serious and dangerous Quail hunting can be...these brave men are taking no chances in ensuring the success of their mission.

And in the end we will prevail.

Fig 4. High ranking Quail ,believed to be #3 in the organization, served up in own blood with a sprig of rosemary.


RadicalPurple said...

mmmmmmmmmm . . . thems is some tasty terra-ists.

KEvron said...

guns don't kill; victims get themselves killed.


KEvron said...

"defeatist feminazi frenchified flip-floppers"

btw, this much alliteration could give a person a lisp. please try to be more responsible.


Red Tory said...

Them terrorists makes good eatin', I tell ya what.

Fantod said...

Britisher, this is your most fowl post to date.

Whenever the government announces a "camouflage" alert (quail attack likely), I stay inside and make sure all my windows are duck taped.

RadicalPurple said...

By the way, you were definitely ahead of the curve. They did almost the same type of thing on The Daily Show, that nite.

Hey Red!! Steal someone ELSES line!

5th Estate said...

appreciate all the comments...

yeah radicalpurple...I just got to download the Stewart piece today from Crooks and liars....

Nice to be "included" with his work, but I'm no John Stewart.

Red Tory said...

Hey Red!! Steal someone ELSES line!

My apologies. I was watching "King of the Hill" at the time.

KEvron said...

"....I'm no John Stewart."

judging by your presentation of quail, you're more martha stewart....


Radicalpurples Diametric Opposite said...

very nice - not to nitpick but thats an AT-4 in figure 3.