Thursday, August 09, 2007

David Petraeus and the Prisoners of the Goblet of Shit of Iraqistan

Hardcore fans of G. W. Bush will be lined-up around the Capitol this September when David Petraeus reads excerpts of the latest episode in this seemingly unstoppable fantasy of a boy who accidentally discovers his magical powers and with the help of newly-found and instantly loyal friends, embarks on a seminal quest to combat evil---a story which has captured the imaginations of whole nations.

Unlike J.K. Rowling however, the security surrounding Bush’s fiction has been by comparison remarkably lax. Indeed it is almost as though the ‘actors’ are somehow being paid to reveal the story before official publication!


If you’d prefer to be totally ignorant until the official publication READ NO FURTHER!
But if you just can’t stand the excitement, read-on.


Hundreds die, but nothing else happens…until the next episode, due out in about six months when… hundreds more die and still nothing happens.

Obviously there isn’t much point in buying the book now, is there? Well there’s one more spoiler—you already paid for it.


Parklife said...

Dont forget the bit about failing to meet self-set benchmarks. Most of which show the Iraqi govt. vacating (or is that vacationing).

Petraeus: The surge is beginning to work! We need more time. See things are better in some places.. Pay no attention to the death count or the Iraqi govt.

Bush: See.. My guy that does what I want him to do.. The same guy that has a personal political interest.. just said things are going well. We just need more time.

Everybody Else: Ummm.. A bridge just split in two...

5th Estate said...

you know how it is... bush uses words without knowing what they mean, so everyone else has to as well.

Carl said...

I'm guessing that the Democrats are waiting for Labor Day to pass (and they have everybody's attention) before making a real stink here.

Which means, I dunno, another 100, 150 dead American soldiers?

Heckuva job, Pelosi...

Parklife said...

I'm not sure if you saw Al-Maliki holding hands with Iran yesterday. Turns out the conservatives [heart] Iran.