Friday, April 13, 2007
Hello, Imus Be Going
Cute un-nappy-haired virgin Tennessee Vols celebrate their Championship win over Rutgers 'Scarlet Letters'
(photo Jim Isaac-Getty Images)
MSNBC Imus in the Morning, April 4, 2007
McGUIRK : They [Tennesee] beat Rutgers by 13 points.
IMUS: That's some rough girls from Rutgers. Man, they got tattoos and –
Meanwhile in the New York Times, reporter Jere Longman writes: “The taller Lady Vols (34-3) dominated the offensive boards and defeated Rutgers (27-9) at its own game-- a hounding, trapping defense that disrupted the Scarlet Knights into 20-for-49 shooting and forced 18 turnovers”
While back at MSNBC….
McGUIRK: Some hard-core hos.
Cut back to the NY Times: "The defeat ended an inspiring season for the young Scarlet Knights, who began 2-4, lost access to their locker room and practice gear, then recovered to reach the title game."
And then cut back to Imus…
IMUS: That's some nappy-headed hos there. I'm gonna tell you that now, man, that's some -- woo. And the girls from Tennessee, they all look cute, you know, so, like -- kinda like -- I don't know.
From the NYT's Longman I learn that Rutgers historical resilience and tenacity couldn’t overcome Tennessee’s drive and height advantage.
From Imus I learn that the Rutgers players are tattooed whores who don’t have straight hair and that “the girls from Tennessee, they all look cute”.
Cute virginity-powered ball-handling skills overwhelm the rough. hardocre efforts of the so-not-cute nappy-haired Scarlet Whores of Rutgers. Note the Rutgers players streetgang-inspired tattoos!
(Photo: Suzy Allman, New York Times)
Hmmm…let’s try it again with a different sport.
McGUIRK: They [Dallas Cowboys] beat the Chicago Bears by 13 points.
IMUS: That's some rough guys from Chicago. Man, they got tattoos
McGUIRK: Some hard-core rent-a-fag street meat gay gang..
IMUS: That's some bikini-waxed rentboys there. I'm gonna tell you that now, man, that's some -- woo. And the guys from Dallas, they’re handsome, you know, so, like -- kinda like -- I don't know.
Do you see?
All Imus needed to do was to promise to apply similar insight to other sports and he could have kept his job! Fair and balanced!
Then the only reason to fire him from his position as a sports commentator/analyst/pundit would be that he’s fucking useless at it!
Be that as it may, what relevant insights into the championship game in particular and Women’s NCAA Basketball in general were McGuirk and Imus imparting to the sports fans?
Apparently Rutgers lost because they had that characteristically African-American “nappy” hair (including their white teammates) and probably spent more time getting tattoos and turning tricks than practicing their skills, and thus were no match for the Tennessee Vols who had more manageable hair, who weren’t whoring around, and who were simply more attractive.
So... convenient keratin and cutaneous care combined with chastity and cuteness equals Championship!
Oh and don’t be from New Jersey either (even if you aren’t from New Jersey but just study there, don’t tell anyone otherwise you will be an automatic loser).
Although the press is concentrating on the inherent racism of Imus’s remarks I think they are slicing this incident too finely.
Don Imus is simply a bigot, and despite the philosophical aspirations of the founding principles of this nation (not immediately practiced of course, but built-upon through amendments to the Constitution) a consistent record of bigotry allowed Don Imus to make what most of us consider a fortune. His broadcast bigotry may be gone for the moment, but many still remain to legitimize bigotry in all its aspects.
How sweet it would have been to have seen Imus actually face these young women of Rutgers, attended by a crowd, under the glare and lights of the press, repeat his words to their faces and then have 198-pound 6’-4” Rutgers center Kia Vaughan punch him in the face in recompense for his remarks?
McGUIRK: Don, that hard-core nappy-haired ho kicked you to the curb!
Oh Imus, you were always a hack and a bigot and though you still have your fans they like you have exhausted themselves and they can;t protect you anymore. Bye, Don--like the bigotry you've helped to maintian all this time, you really must be going.