Friday, April 13, 2007

Hello, Imus Be Going

Cute un-nappy-haired virgin Tennessee Vols celebrate their Championship win over Rutgers 'Scarlet Letters'
(photo Jim Isaac-Getty Images)

MSNBC Imus in the Morning, April 4, 2007

McGUIRK : They [Tennesee] beat Rutgers by 13 points.

IMUS: That's some rough girls from Rutgers. Man, they got tattoos and –

Meanwhile in the New York Times, reporter Jere Longman writes: “The taller Lady Vols (34-3) dominated the offensive boards and defeated Rutgers (27-9) at its own game-- a hounding, trapping defense that disrupted the Scarlet Knights into 20-for-49 shooting and forced 18 turnovers”

While back at MSNBC….

McGUIRK: Some hard-core hos.

Cut back to the NY Times: "The defeat ended an inspiring season for the young Scarlet Knights, who began 2-4, lost access to their locker room and practice gear, then recovered to reach the title game."

And then cut back to Imus…

IMUS: That's some nappy-headed hos there. I'm gonna tell you that now, man, that's some -- woo. And the girls from Tennessee, they all look cute, you know, so, like -- kinda like -- I don't know.

From the NYT's Longman I learn that Rutgers historical resilience and tenacity couldn’t overcome Tennessee’s drive and height advantage.
From Imus I learn that the Rutgers players are tattooed whores who don’t have straight hair and that “the girls from Tennessee, they all look cute”.

Cute virginity-powered ball-handling skills overwhelm the rough. hardocre efforts of the so-not-cute nappy-haired Scarlet Whores of Rutgers. Note the Rutgers players streetgang-inspired tattoos!
(Photo: Suzy Allman, New York Times)

Hmmm…let’s try it again with a different sport.

McGUIRK: They [Dallas Cowboys] beat the Chicago Bears by 13 points.
IMUS: That's some rough guys from Chicago. Man, they got tattoos
McGUIRK: Some hard-core rent-a-fag street meat gay gang..
IMUS: That's some bikini-waxed rentboys there. I'm gonna tell you that now, man, that's some -- woo. And the guys from Dallas, they’re handsome, you know, so, like -- kinda like -- I don't know.

Do you see?
All Imus needed to do was to promise to apply similar insight to other sports and he could have kept his job! Fair and balanced!
Then the only reason to fire him from his position as a sports commentator/analyst/pundit would be that he’s fucking useless at it!

Be that as it may, what relevant insights into the championship game in particular and Women’s NCAA Basketball in general were McGuirk and Imus imparting to the sports fans?

Apparently Rutgers lost because they had that characteristically African-American “nappy” hair (including their white teammates) and probably spent more time getting tattoos and turning tricks than practicing their skills, and thus were no match for the Tennessee Vols who had more manageable hair, who weren’t whoring around, and who were simply more attractive.

So... convenient keratin and cutaneous care combined with chastity and cuteness equals Championship!

Oh and don’t be from New Jersey either (even if you aren’t from New Jersey but just study there, don’t tell anyone otherwise you will be an automatic loser).

Although the press is concentrating on the inherent racism of Imus’s remarks I think they are slicing this incident too finely.

Don Imus is simply a bigot, and despite the philosophical aspirations of the founding principles of this nation (not immediately practiced of course, but built-upon through amendments to the Constitution) a consistent record of bigotry allowed Don Imus to make what most of us consider a fortune. His broadcast bigotry may be gone for the moment, but many still remain to legitimize bigotry in all its aspects.

How sweet it would have been to have seen Imus actually face these young women of Rutgers, attended by a crowd, under the glare and lights of the press, repeat his words to their faces and then have 198-pound 6’-4” Rutgers center Kia Vaughan punch him in the face in recompense for his remarks?

McGUIRK: Don, that hard-core nappy-haired ho kicked you to the curb!

IMUS: Nnnngh..urrgh..doc-tor…eearrgh!

Oh Imus, you were always a hack and a bigot and though you still have your fans they like you have exhausted themselves and they can;t protect you anymore. Bye, Don--like the bigotry you've helped to maintian all this time, you really must be going.


KEvron said...

he'll pitch to satelite radio an idea for a show called "imus and andy"....


betmo said...

kevron beat me to the punchline :) i can only hope we see some momentum in moving hate speech off of the airwaves. left or right it doesn't matter- it's time we in america grew up. you can't very well extol values that you don't have yourself now can you?

Parklife said...

I love that montage, cutting from MSNBC to the NYTimes article. Not to mention, the image of Imus trying to pick himself up off the hardwood (something, I imagine, that troll is trying to do right about now).

One of the silver linings that I hope comes of this is the emergence of an African-American voice. Essence Carson, her teammates and other African-Americans who have found a spotlight need to be featured more on our airwaves. Intelligent.. Articulate… well-rounded… I’m tired of watching and listening to old white guys drive our media. Its long past time a new voice and face emerges. I hear there is an opening for a morning show.

Carl said...

I was a big fan of Imus, and while I think firing him for his comments was over the top (particularly given the two bigots who led the charge, Sharpton and Jackson), the ad dollars spoke, and his comments certainly deserved a punishment more severe than two weeks in the sin bin.

sumo said...

Well always.

5th Estate said...

carl...was it Imus or just the sports forum? I asl because there were two sports I really enjoyed because I could actually participate--soccer and ski-ing---but no matter what the majority of sports commentary was banale and irritating. I don't know what qualified Imus any more than any enthusiast in a bar, and as he strayed from the subject constantly IMHO he just filled up air time and got paid big bucks for it--it was like being paid to be a drunk! However, you are still allright in my book--we are none of us perfect :D

mirth said...

Fine analysis, 5th estate, and ditto that he sleepwalked thru his phat job. If you look at his picture carefully...I think this racist, misogynist fool was already dead.

Carl said...


Imus was avowedly a sports naif and relied on his sportscaster (the Sid Rosenberg fellow referenced in the story was one) to guide the sports part of the show.

I stopped listening to Imus when it became clear that he was as phony as the phonies he railed against. He used to be a true phony, meaning one who was phony AND admitted it, but he stopped admitting it.

eyedoc333 said...

I am a Rutgers grad and I ain't no ho!

Anonymous said...

just bacause one is a virgin doesn't mean one is innocent and not a 'ho.

eyedoc333 said...

Anon, I wish you well. I mean that sincerely.

"Life is an adventure in forgiveness."~Norman Cousins

Anonymous said...

I am not sure what you mean by your comment, but the argument made by one of the Rutger's supporters was that their players were virgins, and I simply made the comment that virgin does not necessarily equal innocent. Mostly to show the ridiculousness of the initial argument and also to simply state the obvious. So you can plainly see that your response makes absolutely no sense to me.