Monday, February 05, 2007

RIght-Wing 'Comedy' Kills Me!

Over at the very estimable Red Tory blog a lengthy discussion ensued as to the amusement-ocity or some-such of right-wing 'comedians'.
Red Tory and about 50 commenters all posited that right-wing politics and humor are about as compatible as fried eggs and the floor.

But long-time (yet plucky) Red Tory heckler 'Biff' countered that there was at least one (well, only one...) right-wing comedian to counter the thousands of lefty comedians—none other than Dennis Miller who Biff thinks is “very, very funny.”

Whilst I was impressed that Biff didn’t also offer up self-appointed-comedians-when-they-risk-hate-speech-lawsuits Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh, I couldn’t agree less with Biff.
Dennis Miller is the Hillary Clinton of right-wing comedy—both Miller and Clinton are the only names everyone recognizes but only half of everyone actually likes.

Nonetheless the right-wing does in fact have a pantheon of brilliant humorists who, like the jazziest of jazz musicians, are really only appreciated by those who listen beyond what sounds like random noise and in the discordant melee of invented musical notes, find elements of fundamental truthinessand thus joy.

Without a doubt the Miles Davis’s and Stockhausen’s of right-wing fundamental funsters are of course Bill O'Reilly, John Gibson and Neil Cavuto of Rupert Murdoch's Fair and Balanced Circus.

I’ll report their latest comedic stylings, and let you decide:

From Bill O’Reilly--(the Jack Benny of Fox, master of the deadpan delivery)

"For my money, pardon the pun, capitalism is a good thing. It gives opportunity to people like me who started with zero money to work our way up…Republicans generally believe you should work for what you get and not take other people's money."

From John Gibson--(Fox's Jerry Seinfield; just two shallow observations can be turned into an entire episode of comedic gold):

"I like ‘Big Oil’-company profits because I think every American should have the opportunity to buy shares in a hugely profitable enterprise, as the oil companies have demonstrated they are."

From Neil Cavuto--Fox News'..umm…Tony Danza? Or maybe Beaver Cleaver? (OMG I just realized how hilarious that name is for an 8-year old boy!)

"Two years. It's a long time. But to most in the media, it's a waste of time. Too little to get too much done—so he's [Bush] done. I don't know about you, but two years is a pretty long time to me.
That's about two-thirds of JFK's entire presidency. That's two Thanksgivings. Two Christmases. Two New Years. Two years from now we'll be two years older than we are now. A lot can happen in that time. Look what's happened in the last two years. Two years ago Pope John Paul II was alive. So was Terri Schiavo — remember her?"

Dennis Miller isn't even fit to be smeared by these comedic geniuses. And why? Because Dennis Miller tries to be ironic whereas O'Reilly, Cavuto and Gibson were born ironic! ( And they don't do "blue" material!)

Funny?!! Funny like looking for non-existent WMD's under your desk!

And that’s just Common Sense, My Word and today’s Most Ridiculous Item.

18 comments:

Truth-Pain said...

Funny posting 5th,...
I agree with your characterization of all the Fox boys. I don't particularly think they were trying to be funny when they said those quotes, but a lot of media types try to be funny, with not much success.
My only observation of note is this. There are many Hollywood actors who "hide" as liberals due to the fact that they know that once the word gets out despicting them as anything but lefties would mark the end of their careers. Finito. Sent to the Gulags of 3rd tier Broadway shows for work. I lived in San Francisco for years; quite the Mecca for comedians in northern California. I can tell you first hand that I met quite a few that privately said they were Republicans or Libertarians, but were deathly afraid of "coming out" for obvious reasons. It is hard to quantify who is who in the arts. I don't quarrel with thinking that the majority of musicians, actors, writers or comedians are left-of-center,... but I do wonder what the percetage split really is.
I still think George Carlin has no equal..., but even he admits that if their were no conservative topics to make fun of, he would starve to death. I wonder about that...

5th Estate said...

No of course O'Reilly, Gibson and Cavuto weren't trying to be funny.

I've seen O'Reilly try to be funny but he's not very good at it--there's no reason to expect him to be.
In claiming he started with ZERO money he seriously expects his audience to believe that--even though it's complete bullshit. Usually he claims to have been "dirt-poor" but this time he's reverse-"one-upped" himself which I think is hilarious.


Gibson his hilarious because of his circular logic: Every american would have the opportunity to buy shares in big oil IF every American got paid enough to do so! But they don't. Big oil's profits a result of charging every American a lot of money--one of the reasons why every american can't afford to buy shares!

As for Cavuto, he's grown man with the mind of a siz year-old and he writes at that level too.

As to actual comedians who are right-leaning well they should have friends in the right leaning media--Clear Channel, ABC et cetera, so why aren't they offered air-time? Maybe they just aren't funny enough. Maybe conservatives just don't like "funny", they like "serious".

thepoetryman said...

Now that! That was a great write! You made the unfunny hilarious and that Cavuto has to be the goddamndest fool on the planet! And that my friend, is a long line of bumbling asshats!

Peace.

InternetJunkie said...

I confess I haven't looked at the thread yet but Dennis Miller is a tool who can hardly be called funny. He would have people believe that he became a republican because of 9/11 but the truth is they pay better than stand up clubs.

The only right-leaning satirist who is close to being funny is P.J. O'Rourke. And even he gets on my nerves sometimes.

teaghan's mom said...

IJ -

me too!!

how are you??? did you ever get the message i asked anti.w to send you???

-sig (mom of teaghan)

Aeneas the Younger said...

Ever hear of the Salem Witch Trials? Fundamentalism and Ideological faith lead to all kinds of abuses. The Nazis were true believers too ...

balto said...

Back when Miller wasn't trying to make a particular point, I enjoyed his wordplay and referential humor. But since he was converted to Republican, I suppose like Paul being struck blind on the road to Damascus, his attempted comedy is forced.

I heard him say he became a GOPer because his liberal NYC friends called Giuliani Hitler. That's gotta be the dumbest-assed reason for anyone to pick a party.

Miller -- he's clever, but he's not smart.

5th Estate said...

hey balto, long time no see! - yes , when he first showed Miller was sophisicated in his language. But when the wit is only in the laguage but not the humour then the humour is lost. Miller and he comes across as simply smug and prentitious.

balto said...

Hey Brit! Or 5th! ;)

Siggy suggested we check out your site. It's good to see another ol' AFB blogger!

lalesq said...

and to think they thought that Miller would be a good fit for Monday Night Football!

Hiya Brit!

not_over_it said...

I never miss it!

Parklife said...

The best part about Miller's "comedy" is that he can go on intellectually stimulating shows (like the "No Spin Zone" the other night) and act as a global warming specialist. Just to drop lines about Johnny Winter. And, hey, if a comedian says its not real then…

Andrew Dice Clay.. wasn't he conservative? What, with all those hilarious racist and gay jokes.

And that "You might be a redneck if…" joke guy. That never got old really fast.

Aeneas the Younger said...

The last American Comedian who could be termed right-wing in any meaningful or respectful manner was Bob Hope ....

5th Estate said...

parklife,
Miller's entitled to poke fun or contest conventional wisdom, and that would be fine if he could do so with some depth or wit... but he's like a child who has memorized parts of a dictionary and then won't shut up in demonstrating his facile knowledge until he gets some attention.

5th Estate said...

lalesq...
I NEVER understood the ratioanle behind his MN Football gig. A lot of bright people enjoy football ( to my constant amazement) and rumpur has it I'm fairly bright and I have no interest in it at all. Appreciation of American Football has nothing to do with intelligence at all of course.
I guess Miller was hired to provide a bridge of some kind between the fans who are also intellectual and the "regular" fans and hopefully expand the franchise? But Miller sucked the life out of the whole interprise because he's actually a smarmy prig and neither "blue collar" nor "white collar" fans appreciated that.

5th Estate said...

not over it..
thanks for dropping by..seem like an AFB re-union in here! Good times!

not_over_it said...

I've been reading you since Carl sent me here to play in that "contest" a while back, I just don't usually comment.

InternetJunkie said...

Sig (teaghan's mom) - Just getting around to responding. I did get your PM from Anti. Sorry I missed you over at the Ranch (while you were there!).

Feel free to pop over to my site and rant.... Same for everyone else here!!!