Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Geeks Gone Wild!



According to the Oakland Tribune Lab Officials Excited by New H-Bomb Project nuclear weapons designers are in par-tay mode after the announcement of a competition to develop the next generation of H-Bombs.


Frankly I’m not too keen on the idea of "excited" nuclear scientists making bombs.


Oppenheimer, realizing the enormity of the first atomic explosion commented by quoting from the ancient Sanskrit text of the Rig Veda: "I am become death", whilst Einstein whose physics inquiries helped make the bomb possible became an ardent opponent of nuclear weapons.

This time around it seems likely that the new generation of bombs will be celebrated with wet lab-coat contests and cries of "fucking awesome!"

Apparently the plan is to make simpler, more reliable and more adaptable thermonuclear warheads.

I’m no luddite; anything that is simpler, more reliable and adaptable is a good thing in my book....

EXCEPT WHEN IT COMES TO BLOWING UP THE WORLD!

Perhaps I'm over-reacting. Apparently some of the scientists haven't forgotten the words of Spiderman's uncle; "with great power comes great responsibility".
So, should the new, simpler and more reliable H-Bomb somehow fall into the hands of terrorists it will be able to be "remotely destroyed or rendered useless."

The notion that a complete thermonuclear device could be "rendered useless" by any means other than blowing it up is simply idiotic.

For a start the radioactive material still could be used for a dirty bomb (more a psychological weapon than a WMD) and the scrap bomb parts could still be sold to those nations pursuing their own nuclear capabilities for research if not for immediate ‘practical’ application.
Secondly it is clear that terrorists HAVE to be within or close to communications (which means population centers) to organize and to be effective in their tactics (which is to attack highly populated targets).
So the only solution is to remotely detonate the stolen bomb, thereby preventing the terrorists of destroying their intended targets but destroying a whole bunch of surrounding and unintended targets in the process.

Give a bunch of bored teenagers 10 billion dollars and the results are predictable--a maelstrom of promiscuity, vomit, abortions, massive hangovers and a multimillion dollar video market supported by middle-aged men who assume that everyone's daughter but their own is a drunken slut.

Give a bunch of bored hydrogen bomb designers 10 billion dollars and the result is much the same—except that when the bomb designers get to par-tay, there won’t be anyone left the morning after to buy the video of Geeks Gone Wild.

5 comments:

Elderta said...

Hey Brit...

If you wanna go to dinner with me, Barndog and Balto on MOnday, go to the other place and find the thread... we're doing Thai in Times Square...

Red Tory said...

Sorry to interrupt your dinner reservations…

That is some really disturbing shit. I would like to know why there isn’t more discussion about this issue. Presumably, after the Cold War ended this threat of nuclear destruction was supposed to recede, whereas in reality, it has done anything but given the proliferation to a number of states that split from the USSR, unstable third-world countries and now escalation on the part of the US with their nuclear “bunker busters,” the proposed weaponization of space and next-generation range of missiles. This is madness. And yet, we happily slumber along, wondering who will win the next “American Idol” or the Oscar® for Best Movie of the Year.

What a curious world we live in. For now.

KEvron said...

brave new wars. brave new bombs.

same old par-tay.

KEvron

Elderta said...

Even in the midst of war, ya gotta eat...

thepoetryman said...

What's not to love about the "next" generation of "H" bombs? I mean it will be the "I" bomb! Sounds like a Self-Annihilation weapon to me...and those are never "bad"...

The "I bomb"...

Hooooooo Aggghhhhh!