Monday, November 20, 2006

Nancy Pelosi Declares War on Thanksgiving

Preznit Bush always keeps his Colt .45 ACP handy when meeting with known terrorists like Nancy Pelosi ( orig. photo: Pablo Martinez, AP)

"However they put it, the Democrat approach in Iraq comes down to this: The terrorists win and America loses."—George Bush 10/20/2006

On November 7th 2006, a day that will live in infamy, terrorist mistressmind and San Francisco madwoman Nancy Pelosi seized control of the US Congress.

Drunk with power and seaweed-tofu cocktails she proclaimed her administration would last for 100 hours. In her victory speech she predicted a new era of “bi-parties” and announced a new military “transformation” program that would include pink uniforms, and the installation of advanced gaydar on all current and future combat aircraft.
But absent from her speech was her real agenda.

Ever since the crack investigative team of Bill O’Reilly and John Gibson followed their noses, investigated their own cracks and squeezed out the shocking evidence that S-P’s were trying to kill the Baby Jesus, Pelosi's original plan to force America to worship stem cells instead of our Lord and Saviour had to be aborted forcing her to devise a new plan to destroy America—by turning American democratic elections into a weapon!

During his presidential campaign George Bush stated firmly that as President he “wouldn’t engage in nation building” and his efforts in Afghanistan and Iraq have shown he has kept that promise. Pelosi however has decided to keep such honest declarations hidden under her burqa (bought for her by her gay godless blog-masters—sources say she wears it at home when ordering her illegal immigrant housekeepers and handymen to vote), claiming she was too busy getting pregnant to serve in Vietnam.

But as Republicans wisely say “that’s old news” and “that’s all in the past” and “I’ll let history be the judge” (or Kenneth Starr)—what really matters is the future and the future is now, which as any conservative will tell you, was the 18th Century when the USA was founded as the zenith of political and social development.
But the wisdom of the Founding Fathers just isn’t good enough for Pelosi—oh no! Not only does she want to roll back all the social and economic advancements made in the last two-hundred and thirty years that the Republicans have been rolling back in the past six years to create a more perfect union and re-establish the natural law of the “have’s” having magnitudes more than the “have-not’s”, she is now secretly trying to destroy the celebration of Thanksgiving!

The proof is in the advertising. As soon as Pelosi’s coup was announced the Christmas-themed ads came out—completely skipping over Thanksgiving. Coincidence? I think not!
The saving of Christmas was just one part in the Global War on Culture. We must stay the course until America has a stable government that can defend itself.
Only when America stands up will Americans stand down. And with the leadership of John Gibson and Bill O’Reilly I doubt the war will last more than a few Friedman Units, when our brave culture warriors will be greeted as liberators and showered with plastic turkeys.


betmo said...

nice :)

5th Estate said...

Christ Betmo, that was fast! I've been absent from posting or blog-visiting for so long I'm shocked you thought it worthwhile to stop by!
Glad you like it !

Anonymous said...

Read about how W spent his time while visiting Vietnam...

Peacechick Mary said...

I know! Where have you been? Then you come back with a crack post like this and knock us off our feet. Well done.

Elderta said...

Ha! Your posting should go side-by-side with Maureen Dowd's Pelosi bashing exercise in punditry from Sunday's NYT. Sometimes, I think the Times Select wall is a good thing!

Glad you got the 'puter and cable a'workin! Good to see you back, and in fine form!

5th Estate said...

ripper...seems your beta-blogspot is a place-marker at the moment..
However I've followed some MSM articles and blogposts on the Vietnam trip and it seems Bush is running out of places to hide. When he finally retires Crawford may prove to be his own Elba!

sumo said...

He can't retire...Daddy has grounded him.

Carl said...

My thoughts on the War On Christmas. They're too involved to post in a reponse to you, Brit.