In Which I Agree With David Limbaugh That Conservatives Should Not Listen To Propaganda!

From David Limbaugh (the equally stupid but not so rich brother of Rush Rimjob) and his latest analysis on NewsMax of whatever it is that lives in his rectum.

I don't care how many times I hear it, I refuse to believe that significant numbers of conservatives will stay home in November and thereby assist the Democratic Party to regain control of Congress.

David Limbaugh refuses to believe anything Republicans and conservatives say (who aren’t in the administration or the media).

Democrats and the Old Media have been working hard to create this perception for several months, citing poll after poll to support their claims.

By having the audacity to publish what likely Republican voters are actually saying!

It reminds me of the exit poll manipulation orchestrated by the Old Media and Democrat operatives in 2004 to create the GOP-deflating perception that John Kerry was winning big.

By reporting how the public were actually voting, instead of how they were supposed to vote!

But with the unveiling of the Foley scandal, there is an even bigger spring to their step – kind of like their perverse, gleeful reaction to problems with the delayed federal response to Hurricane Katrina.

Remember Geraldo Rivera’s tears of joy? Remember Anderson Cooper’s satiric anger?

Before Foley I gave conservatives more credit than to believe they would sit this election out over their disillusionment with Republicans concerning immigration and domestic spending. My confidence remains after Foley as well, despite push polling and other techniques designed to discourage conservative turnout.

David can’t describe those “other techniques” so that conservative voters won’t be able to adapt to them.

Conservatives are generally rational creatures and sophisticated enough to understand that the national interest will not be served by turning national security over to a party wholly incapable of safeguarding it for the sake of punishing Republicans.

Yet strangely they aren’t are so rational and sophisticated as to understand that they shouldn’t be expressing their opinions to pollsters and the media—it’s the RNC’s job to express the opinions of likely voters.

To the argument of some conservatives that losing the election will result in the nation eventually returning to its conservative roots, I say "nonsense."

David is absolutely correct. No matter how many times I read it, what he just wrote makes no sense!

We can't afford the luxury, during time of war and incalculable threats to our national security, our culture, our freedom and our sovereignty, of taking our ball and going home for a few critical years.

David is right again; with real wages down, no job growth and a record national debt we can’t afford luxury. And with incalculable threats to our national security, now is not the time to stop dealing with something incalculable.

I do not believe conservatives will deliver control to the party of tax and spend because Republicans haven't done enough to curb domestic spending.

Right once more!. The Republicans still need to get rid of taxation altogether and impose a direct tithe to reduce the spending of domestics.

My assessment is reinforced by news that the Bush tax cuts have unleashed a robust economy and explosive federal revenues that have reduced the deficit to 2 percent of GDP, lower than the 2.7 percent average of the last 40 years.

Absolutely right, David! The fact that GDP growth under Bush is 2.5% compared to 3.6% under Clinton and 3.5% under Reagan and that averaging the deficit-reduction rate to GDP over 40 years is irrelevant and that the national debt (as opposed to the deficit) is back where it was in Reagan’s last year—at a record high--is just not worth thinking about.

I don't believe conservatives will conspire to assign control over immigration to the wide-open-border Democrats, notwithstanding the Republicans' tardy and so far inadequate response to the immigration problem. My assessment is reinforced by news that Congress passed a measure to erect a 700-mile border fence.

A 700 mile border fence will send a clear message to illegal immigrants and Al Qaeda-types which is: if you ignore the other 1251 miles of border that isn’t fenced, we will catch you!

Conservative angst forced recalcitrant politicians to act. This is how you get results – not by replacing a highly imperfect party with an incomparably egregious one.

That’s right David!. Conservatives are excellent at ignoring a problem for five years and then reacting instantly to get a result, or as we like to say in math; "x"

And I especially don't believe social conservatives, because of their disappointment with Republicans over Foley, will turn to a militantly secular Democratic leadership to protect Washington pages from sexual predators. My assessment is reinforced by the immediate resignation of Foley and the Republican leadership's initiation of comprehensive investigations into the matter, promising full accountability for culpable Republicans.

Again, the voting base is expressing opinions independent of the Republican Party so quite rightly David refuses to believe them.

My optimism that conservatives will not allow the perfect to be the enemy of the good and stay home in November is further enhanced by Democrats recently overplaying their hand on the Foley scandal.

Right-on, David! The GOP are perfect, notwithstanding you just called them highly imperfect because compared to the incredibly low standards of secular Democrats the GOP is perfect!

Though they boasted for the longest time that they could trounce Republicans in November by a substantive debate on the issues, they've been studiously avoiding such a debate and resorting only to attacking Bush and scandalmongering.

The Democrats couldn’t even ban the debate on banning flag-burning!

But now that they think the Foley affair is tainting the entire Republican Party, Nancy Pelosi has gotten cocky enough to unveil her agenda for the first 100 hours of her speakership.
She'd better hope that she hasn't triggered a true national debate on the issues and unwittingly nationalized the congressional elections, something the Republicans hadn't managed to pull off.

Because... by making the control of the House of Representatives and thus national policies a referendum on the GOP majority instead of it simply being a series of un-related local elections that just coincidentally result in the formation of national policies, she'd be totally distorting the the meaning of the process--making it about the election of representatives who reflect a public consensus rather than maintenance of incumbents who ignore or disbelieve the opinions and wishes of their constituents and the electorate.

Can you imagine the Democrats winning a debate over national security when they've vigorously opposed almost every tool President Bush has tried to use to prosecute the war on terror? How would they gain from a true debate over Iraq when Democrats still don't have a plan and can't even decide whether they favor withdrawal, "timetables" or "benchmarks"?

Right again! I mean, really! George Bush has been very clear that he doesn’t believe in timetables or benchmarks. By refusing to leave Iraq and by keeping US successes a secret, Bush is keeping the terrorists guessing and on the defensive!

Can you imagine Democrats prevailing on a values debate where it would be emphasized that they actively promote the radical homosexual agenda and castigate one of the finest institutional exemplars of traditional values in our nation's history – the Boy Scouts – for their moral refusal to permit homosexuals to be scoutmasters?

Can you imagine the Republicans prevailing on a values debate where they actively promote a party political agenda over an individual’s homosexual agenda and then castigate one of the finest institutional exemplars of traditional values in our nation's history – the GOP – for their moral refusal to gay-bash a GOP member who had broken the law he himself wrote?

Does Nancy Pelosi truly support the National American Man/Boy Love Association (NAMBLA)
or just proudly march in parades with them and receive 90 percent approval from their ACLU enablers? Inquiring minds surely want to know.

Does Denny Hastert truly support NAMBLA and should he be praised for being sensitive to his subordinate colleagues NAMBLA-like leanings?

It is time for conservatives to ignore the Democrat and Old Media propaganda and vote in even greater numbers in November. If Democrats and the Old Media keep reporting that conservatives are going to stay home, they might be in store for the upset of their lives on Election Day – just maybe.

I agree with David! It is time indeed for conservatives to ignore the propaganda and vote!

Ride The Wind, Cut The Cheese

Before you read Sally Kestin’s excellent and scary South Florida-Sentinel article on the FEMA-funded Project HOPE you should put together a preparedness kit—no, not duct tape, flashlight and bottled water:
I recommend a box of tissues (to wipe away the tears of laughter), paper towels (to clean up the coffee-spit), something to bite on (Gumby?) for the teeth-gnashing, and a bottle of Bourbon. Here’s why:

$22.6 million is being spent on 450 “counselors” to help Wilma and Katrina hurricane victims cope with psychological trauma.
The trouble is that most of the “counselors” are utterly unqualified and with FEMA itself preventing them from actually finding those they are supposed to be helping, time and money is being spent on therapy for the “counselors” themselves!

It’s unclear whether the “stress management” efforts are the same for the hurricane victims as they are for the “counselors”, but here’s an example:

Hand out a diagram of a piece of Swiss cheese and have each person write three things in three of the holes that they can do right now and have control over. (i.e. read tonight to their kids, take a bubble bath tonight, get a massage tomorrow, etc.)."

Call me crazy but I think that kind of activity and advice would increase stress, not reduce it. In fact I’m getting totally stressed-out by this right now. Maybe I should get some counseling myself.

Best Blog Links

To anyone arriving here via the ever-excellent Crooks & Liars (or just by accident) my "American Inquistion" post is IMHO decent, but nothing to get too excited about. One post amongst millions, however adequate, doesn't amount to a bean, let alone a hill of them.
So in the hope of making your visit more worthwhile, here's a handy list of links to prevous posts that have been most popular--apparently becuase I'm better at satire than serious comment. So click on a couple and hopefully you'll be sufficiently amused that you might have reason to return every once in a while.


The Dukes of Hazzard County
America’s Giant Balls: A Larger View
The Iraqi Free Press-A $100 million Value!
Geeks Gone Wild
The Art of Writing: Who’s Your Dada?
Cheney: I Have al-Quailda In My Sights!
Best Presidential Library Ever!
Captain Future!
Cricket Explained
You Don’t Know Jack!
Robots Are People Too!
Plato’s All-American Mexican-Free Republic
DHS and the Three F’s
Condiplomacy
Bush’s Memoirs

Dagnabbit!

Thanks to a combination of Blogger's ocassional quirks and rubbish QOs from Verizon DSL the post below is quite buggered. The list is a compilation of previous posts that any new visitors here from the C&L link might enjoy and thus persuade them to revisit once in a while.
The links aren't parsed at the moment thanks to tech issues in uploading. but you can click and get to a couple of the archived posts that will hopefully give you a life. Meanwhile I need to fix this. AARRGGH!

Crooks & Liars

NOTE: Right now at 5.31 EST the links seemd to have been crosslinked somewhat. I'll have to edit and repost to parse them out properly, but it's not completely messed up so click away--you'll get something. Fix is on it's way.

The Dukes of Hazzard County
America’s Giant Balls: A Larger View
The Iraqi Free Press-A $100 million Value!
Geeks Gone Wild
The Art Of Writing: Who's YOur Dada?
Cheney: I Have al-Quailda In My Sights!
Best Presidential Library Ever!
Captain Future!
Cricket Explained
You Don’t Know Jack!
Robots Are People Too!
Plato’s All-American Mexican-Free Republic
DHS and the Three F’s
Condiplomacy
Bush’s Memoirs

Tortured Logic of The American Inquisition

Guantanamo Bay is famous for one thing! Illegal imprisonment and the suspension of habeas corpus… TWO things!… illegal imprisonment and the suspension of habeas corpus...and, prisoner abuse—three! Three things!
Illegal imprisonment, no habeas corpus, prisoner abuse and the complete suspension of reality…(sigh) Right! Guantanamo Bay is famous for, not necessarily in this order and subject to modification, four or more things, those being the….(etc).

Not even Monty Python’s ultra-hilarious sketch “Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition!” reaches the level of absurdity that plays out at Camp X-Ray in Cuba. Amongst its more-than seven hundred prisoners were ignorant teenage boys, farmers, a crippled old man and an informant on radical Muslim’s for MI5 (the British intelligence service), all of whom were included in Donald Rumsfeld’s catch-all phrase, “the worst of the worst”.

Since around 2004 Gitmo’s cells have been slowly emptying, with not one “detainee” brought to trial in the US (or anywhere else for that matter). The Guardian now reports that the US is trying to return its nine remaining British inmates to the U.K in a package deal and interestingly enough the U.K, government is refusing. Why?

For one thing the U.K. is currently insisting that only one of the nine is actually a British citizen. And the other thing is that if the U.K. were to accept all nine anyway, the US is insisting they be kept under 24-hour surveillance indefinitely.
As these prisoners haven’t been proven guilty of anything, the U.K can’t just stick them in one of their own prisons—that would be illegal. Letting them live outside of prison but under constant surveillance would also be illegal under British law.
And then there’s the fact that these men have been held illegally in the first place so to accept their status as some kind of criminal without evidence would also be illegal.
Finally the US has no right to dictate the terms under which a British citizen may live in their own country anyway, nor the conduct of British law.

Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld have good reason to empty Camp X-Ray in light of public discontent threatening to change the political scene. Even if Democrats win both houses this November, that still leaves almost two-years of inevitable deal-making and stone-walling to suppress and scrub the shame of Gitmo—two years in which Bush as Commander In Chief can employ his executive powers to clean the place out.

But with America’s “strongest ally” in the “war on terror” currently (finally!) refusing to be complicit in covering-up illegal detentions and prisoner treatment, what then for these nine? Will they be the only ones left? Or will the one acceptable Brit be released and the rest shipped off to who knows where? First this administration wanted them, in fact need them, and now it wants to wash it's hands of them.
These captives may not be screaming from the rack or hot pockers, but it's still torture.

Mark Foley--Guest Blog

Mark Foley reaching out or reaching-around with some apparently deserving but possibly impressionable young lads. Photo credit to whoever took the photo.

The following text is SATIRE--in case some idiot tries to reference it as anything other than that.

Hey, it's Mark! R ur parents home? Wot U wearing right now? Is it just me or is it HOT in here? !! OH! It must be YOU!

Who was it who said that politics is like a “greased pole”? I think it was the same guy who said that “politics makes for strange bedfellows”. Anyway, never in my wettest dreams did I imagine that things would come to a head like this!

As you probably know, I was minding my own business when suddenly I found myself with this huge mess on my hands and now I’m being smeared, with headlines like “Foley’s Electile Dysfunction” and “Page Me!”—teenage boys can be so cruel!

With my personal internet privileges revoked I thought there was nothing I could do to set things straight. Shunned, I sought refuge in the gym but five minutes of sweaty pumping and I was spent. I didn’t feel like a man anymore, I felt like a little boy. But then I heard someone say “hey, I know you! I met you cruising in Florida!” and before I knew it he’d put his blog in my hands.

I may be on my knees right now but thanks to 5th Estate’s helping hand I again have the tool I need to touch my constituents and grab their attention once more. I’ve been thoroughly tea-bagged by everyone (except Jeff Gannon) in the so-called media (just like the Clintons have been by Fox). But thanks to this “blog-o-tunity” all I can say to the media-whores and presstitues is--Look out bitches!!!!
And to everyone who still believes in me (clap as hard as you can, it really does help!) allow me to describe my position in the most explicit terms—I think I owe you that favor (you can pay me back later--flowers, chocolate, votes, a pair of strappy Jimmy Choo’s—let’s decide over a tossed salad, around noon-ish?)

As I’m sure you all know I was raised a Catholic. I’m not sure if the preservation of feminine virginity and taking an interest in the development of boys came to me naturally or whether it was beaten into me, but either way I developed a fascination for morality which led me naturally to the “big tent” of the Republican Party.
Unlike some politicians who talk about being “bi-partisan” but never do anything about it, I never forgot my youthful experiences. As a grown man I wanted to share those semenal (sic) experiences with a new generation of confused youth. And for that sincere desire I am now already convicted by the press who, like Madame Le Farge in some incomprehensible History Channel costume drama, want nothing more than to see me well-hung!

Well! As sure as bears shit in the Bushes I will NOT take this abuse lying down! I am not going to swallow the slimy ejaculations of my critics! No Sir! Instead it is I who will give them a mouthful!

Though I’ve been forced to relinquish my seat to some sordid back-room deal for the time being, rest assured I’ll be back and on top once again! So watch out America, I’ll be coming from behind! And then you’ll all be sorry!

Signing off for now as your GOP congressional mispresentative from Florida;

Mark "I'm NOT gay!" Foley.

GOP Brains On Display!

“The Electronic Surveillance Modernization Act includes new provisions to further strengthen congressional authority and oversight, and provide clear rules for electronic surveillance if the President notifies the Congress that he has reason to believe that an attack is imminent that would result in death or serious injury or substantial economic damage. The rules will include time limits, written notification, full justification, and clear identification of the groups and their affiliates believed to be about to launch an attack.
We listen to our enemies. Our intelligence community must be able to gather information to protect us, and react rapidly to threats. At the same time, we must ensure that the liberties of Americans are protected. We can do both.” N.M. GOP Rep. Heather Wilson

So according to this proposed Act, if the President doesn’t notify Congress that he has reason to believe that an attack is imminent, just as he didn’t notify Congress of his circumvention of FISA was and is illegal and continues to this day, then Congress in its ignorance has nothing to do. This “Act” would negate FISA and add to Bush’s increasingly imperial powers.

“Our elections are too important to allow the possibility of fraudulent and illegal voting practices and that is why I supported H.R. 4844, the Federal Election Integrity Act of 2006. This bill would ensure that state and local governments have effective means to prevent non-citizen immigrants from illegally registering and voting in federal elections.
The Federal Election Integrity Act would require voters in federal elections to provide a photo ID by 2008. By 2010, voters would be required to provide a photo ID that can only be obtained with proof of citizenship. Federal law already makes it a crime for non-citizens to vote in federal elections and this bill would give state and local governments the tools they need to enforce the law. H.R. 4844 is important legislation and will preserve the democratic integrity of our electoral process.” Texas GOP Rep. John Culberson

Why the hell would non-citizens vote?
And why have a new photo-ID to prove citizenship when we already have one—it’s called a passport.
Oh yeah, and federal law makes it a crime for citizens to manipulate the election process and results. Try starting there.


“Congress must do more to increase access to affordable, quality health insurance and we must work to control the costs in our health care system. I have proposed several common sense interim steps - including expanding and encouraging health savings accounts, allowing individuals and businesses to buy insurance across state lines and over the internet and expanding tax credits to help small businesses provide coverage for their employees.” Vt. GOP Candidate for Congress Martha Rainville

All this was done two years ago and resulted in higher costs. More restricted coverage and a reduction in those insured. And why should small businesses (the Labor Department defines “small business” as a company with up to 500 employees or $12 million p.a. gross income) get a tax credit if individuals, going by this idiotically vague “plan”, would then be able to get “affordable” healthcare on their own due to the benefits of this magical scheme?

"Unfortunately, Hugo Chavez has become a clown. What’s even more unfortunate is his deliberate efforts to intervene and interefere (sic) with the internal politics of his neighbors, jeopardizing democracy and destabilizing many Latin American nations who are struggling to secure a better future for their citizens." Ill. GOP Rep. Jerry Weller

Unfortunately, George Bush has become a clown. What’s even more unfortunate is his deliberate efforts to intervene and interfere with the internal politics of Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iraq and Iran, jeopardizing democracy and destabilizing many Middle-Eastern nations.

Iran, Panic and the “Nuclear Option”

Well I’ve read Col. Gardiner’s report that claims US Special Forces have been in Iran for a while in preparation for possible military action.
Whilst they may indeed have been there, are they really there now? Gardiner writes very coherently but he doesn’t provide any kind of corroboration the public can use.



If it’s true, isn’t he tipping the Iranians off and putting SOF and CIA in danger?
Or is he sufficiently convinced the Bush plans to launch a military campaign he thinks would be so disastrous that blowing the whistle now is the lesser of two evils?
Or, is he perhaps the witting or unwitting agent of psy-ops campaign? I have no idea.

Gardiner provides some depressingly clear-eyed reasons why attacking Iran would be a monumentally stupid idea—far, far more disastrous than the Iraq misadventure—and is seeing signs that the Bush administration is keen to stay the course by not listening to sense but to some higher power located between their ass-cheeks. Gardiner hears the same aggressive rhetoric and confused claims from Bush and his supporters in the “think-tanks” and the media that were used to justify the invasion of Iraq, being applied to Ahmedinejad and Iran. Combined with whatever scuttlebutt he hears from his military sources he’s probably got some pretty good reasons to be concerned.

But however much the neo-cons and their idiot lackeys in the GOP and the press might want to attack Iran, it doesn’t mean they can or will.

The war-mongers ideal would be to destroy the entire Iranian nuclear program—they can’t just whack one or two “key” sites.
According to Gardiner the target list runs to around 400 and some of those are hardened, naturally.
To get the job done, the attacks would have to be quick and massive—requiring a combination of cruise-missiles launched from stand-off positions and over-the-target attacks from fighter-bombers which would need protection from the Improved Hawk (and other) SAM systems Ronald “we are not trading arms for hostages” Reagan so generously sold to the Ayatollah. That would require a bunch of F-111 Wild Weasels and EA6-B Prowlers for radar suppression and F-117 Nighthawks to knock out the SAM sites. It’s easier and quicker to commit the Air Force and the Navy than it is the Army to military action but it would still take some evident preparation.

On the political front, Bush won’t have any military support from the UK, or from anyone else—except Israel, which has been receiving shiny new F-16I fighter-bombers (I think they have about 50 out of the 102 ordered) fitted with custom, long range fuel tanks ideal for getting them from Israel to Iran and back.
Some Israeli minister today (I forget who) was shouting about Iran being a major threat but then Israel has been embarrassed by the Lebanon screw-up, is being pressed hard on it’s use of cluster-bombs and the Israeli public is none too happy and I suspect he's just trying to divert attention.
The American public isn’t too happy either. The Congress is up for grabs and most importantly there’s already a lot of public pushback from the military to the suggestion that force should be use against Iran.

I may be wrong but apart from the usual suspects, there doesn’t seem to be as much cheerleading for action in the media against Iran as there was for Iraq and less acquiescence to the White House noise-machine amongst the more moderate press this time around. Most of the fear-mongering seemed to occur in the first quarter of this year and with all the other very public misfortunes Bush and his pals have visited upon us and themselves they aren’t getting the traction they need to prosecute this issue.
Gardiner may be sounding the alarm but he seems to be fear-mongering in his own way—but a “good” way.

The only trouble with all this is that this administration (meaning Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Gonzalez and the most rabid members of the GOP) don’t operate on reason and don’t give a damn about anyone but themselves and their own fantasies of certitude and superiority. Desperate to justify themselves in the face of criticism and opposition they could be tempted to forget the preamble, the propaganda and the pretense and just go for broke and order an attack anyway.

But you know what? If it came to that I think the military would say no. It would be the military’s “nuclear option”, one that wouldn’t destroy anything for once.

I really think there’s no need to panic. Unless I’m wrong in which case panic won’t do you any good any how—it’ll be too late.

Have a nice day--tomorrow could be your last. Enjoy!

IRAN-Don't Panic! (Yet)

Retired Air Force Colonel (and former teacher at the U.S. Army National War College) Sam Gardiner told Wolf Blitzer tonight on CNN: “We are conducting military operations inside Iran right now.”
At various times over the past 18 months he has said that he believed covert surveillance and HUMINT operations were being conducted, focused on Iran’s nuclear disposition and its political dissidents.
Frankly I would expect the US to conduct such operations anywhere at any time in any country.
But now, says Gardiner. “The evidence is overwhelming.” To support this more elevated claim he cites the following:

a) When the House Committee on Emerging Threats recently called on State and Defense officials to testify if U.S. forces were in Iran or not, none showed up.
b) Some U.S. naval forces had been alerted for deployment (according to Time magazine), which Gardiner calls “a major step”
c) Gardiner states that “The plan has gone to the White House. That’s not normal planning. When the plan goes to the White House; that means we’ve gone to a different state.”

ThinkProgress has the full transcript here

Plenty of pundits, politicians and commentators have weighed in on this subject over most of the year—those on the political Right beating the war drums yet again and those on the Left remarking on the similarity to the lead-up of the Iraq invasion.

Now given the orchestration of lies and the colossal cock-up that the Bush administration has wrought and still refuses to acknowledge in Iraq, it is entirely possible that the White House is not only contemplating attacking Iran but is actively involved in the early stages of actually doing so.

HOWEVER…

Just because Gardiner has respectable military qualifications, it doesn’t mean his expertise extends as far as his words and conclusions imply. Gardiner lays out his analysis presumably more thoroughly in a .PDF titled The End of the “Summer of Diplomacy”: Assessing U.S. Military Options on Iran.

I haven’t read it yet, but I intend to.
The highlighted points above he makes to support his assertion are weak in themselves and not very strong even together ( except perhaps for the first, which is very curious) .
Remember, it was the pursuit of “facts” to fit suspicions that got us into Iraq in the first place.

That’s not to say Gardiner is wrong, it’s just that his apparent conviction needs to be supported by more than a limited collation of fact and supposition as presented in this CNN appearance.

Nor is he wrong to be alarmed by the possibility that he may be correct; there were some indicators of the Iraq invasion that hardly anyone noticed (such as the huge increase in sorties over the no-fly zones for several months prior to the Iraq invasion).

I can think of all sorts of reasons why BushCo would want, and need, to attack Iran in the very near future. So I’m going to read Gardiner’s analysis with a skeptical eye and try and corroborate or refute his arguments with some research.

In Bush’s age of fear, I’d like to keep some semblance of reason. I don’t plan to succumb to panic just yet. Give me a week before I freak.